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Summary of Question: | My Life |
Category: | General Sikhism |
Date Posted: | Friday, 10/25/2002 10:17 PM MDT |
-- jiki fateh
dearest khalsa, im an amritdhari sikh n i got trouble in doing my prayer....
this is thet story, 1st when samelan held 4 1st time in jakarta i feel that ive no meaning in my life without guruji n took amrit evenmy mom wasnt agree but i said 2 he rthat this is my self n i can decide what i think good 4 me, we didnt have communication 4 2 months but we leave in same house..
2nd,.. i year after i took amrit i still do my farz well, i also got up 2 3 in the morning coz i know that amrit wela is 2-3 hours b4 the dawn but now i think im leaving guruji, coz now i never can get up in the morning i just get up on 6 or 7 n i feel lazzy to recite my prayers but i love, really going 2 gurdwara n every week i go 2 gdw n do asa diwaar w/ waja ( i can do kirtan ), read shabads , n i mae my parents proud bcoz of my good behavior in our punjabi community, all punjabi here know me as a relly good sikh n khalsa. n continuing my problem, sometimes if i go 2 gdw n hear the kirtani jatha i cry especially in samelan i always cry coz i think im very far now from guru ji please help me 2 go out from this problem, give d best solution...
gurfateh........
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Reply
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First thing you can do is write your correspondence in proper words.
Second thing is stop feeling so guilty. You feelings of guilt are emotions. Your emotions are beating yourself over the head in punishment. If you are going to love God and Guru, then you must love yourself.....because you are a part of God and Guru.
Life is long and full of changes. If getting up is easy nothing great is happening. If getting up is hard, then your success of having acheived anything is much greater. Look at it this way: God gets you up as well as God gives you the longing to get up and practice your devotion.
If you cannot get up at 3 am or 4 am, then get up when you can. Start your routine when you can. Then, surrender your attachment to getting up perfectly to God and Guru. God and Guru will manage your day. You have your intention.
A very great meditation for you to do is the daily recitation of "Shabd Hazare" by Guru Arjan Dev which starts: : "Mera man loche Gur darshan taa-ee...." You say that you can do kirtan so, recite this shabd singing for 31 minutes daily for the next 40 days. See what happens to your life.
This will strengthen your soul connection and close off the emotions that are leaking out and disturbing your inner experience of your God self.
You are the Grace of God. Live in grace and feel and breath this grace through all ups and downs, every minute of your day. God bless you and bless yourself.
SKKK