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Summary of Question:	Vegetarianism For Child, Not Father??
Category:	Sikh Practices
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 10/17/2001 10:55 AM MDT

Sat Siri Akal

I am married and amritdhari.My husband is not amritdhari.He eats meat and drinks alcohal also occasionally(but not at home).I don't cook meat at home.I don'touch even egg also. After our marriage I tried my best in past 5 years to stop him from taking these things but I did'nt get success.Now I have left this to SACCHE-PATSHAH.We have a son of 5 yrs old.Both of us want that he should follow sikhism.My husband does not eat meat and drink alcohal infront of our son.But as he is growing, don' you think that he will be able to recognise the smell of alcohal?and then he can put the question ?
when he was 2-1/2 years old since then I have been telling him that If you will eat chicken and fish,Baba ji(waheguru ji) will beat you.now he is small but as he will grow , and sees his other friends (sikh children) eating meat,he will definitely ask me that they are eating meat and baba ji is not beating them.Is it the right way to convice him not to eat meat.
When there is somebody's birthday in his school,he eats cake (that always contains egg).What should be my role in this?
So please guide me how to bring my husband on the right path.And give me some tips to handle my son's queries.
thanks

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REPLY
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Sat Siri Akaal. It is unreasonable to teach your child one thing and set the example of another. Don't think for a moment that your child hasn't understood this duality in your household, because children are FAR smarter and intuitive than we give them credit for.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do NOT tell your child that Guru will 'beat' him if he eats meat. This is instilling fear in your child and is a terrible thing to do. How on earth can he learn to love Guru if he is afraid he will be beaten? This is not the Sikh way! Tell him you were wrong and apologize; he will understand and BE RELIEVED to know that Guru is not to be feared! There are other more practical and harmless ways to approach this issue: please search the many many posts/replies on this Forum using the searchbar and the word 'vegetarian'.

Practically speaking, it is very hard to teach your child to avoid cake and cookies when everyone in his class does not. Unless you can do so and create understanding in your child's classroom/with the teacher. If neither are willing to learn about and accommodate Sikhi, then he may feel like an outcast.

If you truly want your child to follow the TRUE Sikh path, then both of you need to start living and acting like true Sikhs. It appears you are, but your husband has to get on board or he will damage his son because he does not practice what he preaches. There are so many posts on this forum of anguished young people who do not understand why the adults in their life drink and CLAIM to be Sikh. The duality creates anger, tension, and a great deal of mistrust. If your son is taught one thing and observes another, he will conclude that nothing he taught by EITHER of you is trustworthy.

Guru ang sang,
-DKK