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Summary of Question:	Hindu Boy
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 7/22/2002 3:22 PM MDT

Sat Siri Akal.

Ohrite I am a little confused. 3 years back my parents sent my sister to India to study, they wanted her to learn indian and sikh values from india since they are both busy here. The problem is when she went to India she ended up meeting this Hindu boy that went to school with her. Now, she is back and told my parents about him. My dad is totally aganist it. She says she will study and become something in life but she will marry this guy. My dad is still aganist it. Her argument is that hindus and sikhs have to differnce. she says they almost believe in the same things and why did we go to a mandar when we were in india. She also says that if my parents don't get her to marry him then chances are she will end up not getting married at all. I know she is blind in love right now. Can you please help me. What should I do to try to explain it to my dad. Please answer this question.

Sat Siri Akal
(REPLY) Yes, you said it, "Love is blind" This boy may be wonderful, but it's not your parents that you need to explain things to, it's your sister! She doesn't realize how difficult a marriage can be (under any circumstances) when the couple follow different religions. Sikh religion is not the Hindu religion, and although we respect all religions, and are free to attend any church or temple or even mosque, our spiritual home is the Gurdwara, and the children of this marriage need to have a firm foundation of understanding their identity as Sikhs -- not a hybrid. Your sister should just wait, grow up a little bit more, and see how she feels in a couple of years from now. If she is going to "make something of herself" as she claims, then let her not complicate her life for emotional reasons now. There's nothing you can explain to your parents that can convince them that it's wise to marry someone who is not a Sikh. It does sometimes happen, and I'm not saying it might not work out, but the odds are against it. It's wonderful that you are concerned, and want to help in the situation, but your sister is the one who needs to realistically understand that there is a difference! Blessings, SP