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Summary of Question:	well itz like this...
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 8/16/2000 8:31 PM MDT

hi! well firstly i would like to thank you for having such a wonderful forum! it has helped me a great deal. my problem is that i'm a teen that has met this great guy but i don't know what to do now. let me give u a little background on what has happened with me. i'm a sikh girl and my parents are kind of westernized but still have a lot of indian wayz that they live by. for example, they don't want me to have a boyfriend but at the same time they are perfectly fine with me having all the guy friendz in the world. i have met this other sikh boy who i believe is the one i want to be with for the rest of my life. we don't just sit there and kiss and we don't plan to have sex before marriage. we just love being with each other and just sitting there and talking for the whole day. some may believe that i'm going against the sikh religion by having a boyfriend, but itz not like we do anything "bad" with each other. i wanna know if i am doing something wrong by being this boyz girlfriend. i plan to marr

y him in the future. i believe that i'm not doing anything to go against my religion becuz we don't do stuff like kiss. even if we do it occasionally, we haven't made it a habit. even though we r careful, r we doing something wrong? the other problem is that i want to tell my parentz about this guy. i don't like keeping secrets from them. i think that i should wait a few years and then tell them about my boyfriend because i just don't think that they'll understand right now. what do u think? i'm very serious about this guy. if i was like 24 yearz old i would marry him. i'm just too young to get married. i plan to be with this guy until i'm old enough to get married though. i'm just really confused. i want to be with my boyfriend but then i don't want to be doing anything to go against my religion and i don't know how to tell my parentz about him. i want to tell them in a few more yearz...but HOW? i need help! please help me because i'm sooooooo confused. thank you!

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Response
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You sound very young! If you are 12 to 15 years old, I think that you are rushing things a bit.

This is a good time to develop yourself and your personality, your goals and interests in life.

If this young Sikh is a true friend to you, then plan how you can support each other's faith and practice of Sikhee. This would be the mature thing to do...no one would object your reading from the Siri Guru Granth Sahib together...going to kirtan programs. studying Jap Ji Sahib...there is a nice translation on ...www.sikhnet.com/s/gurugranth sahib .....under English translation.

In fact, here is a formula for your relationship. For the next 40 days, read this translation of Jap Ji Sahib. It is a formula for life and living. Read it individually and discuss a pauri each day together for the next 40 days.It will giev you strength and clarity to know how to handle yourselves and how to handle talking to your parents.

If your relationship is good, this will strengthen you both. If your relationship does not last for the next 40 days. Then you can be grateful that it was not the right relationship.