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Summary of Question:	Equality For All
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Saturday, 6/24/2000 3:35 PM MDT

I have read a lot about sikhism and thought I had a religion which lived up tomy own personal ideals. I liked the fact Sikhs see woman as equal.The fact they respect other peoples beliefs. I also like the importance of family. However on further eading it appears that just like the famous quote from George Orwells famous book 'Animal Farm'stating, 'allanimals are equal but some are more equal than others.' then the same appears to be true in the reality of Sikhism an woman are still in many ways 'inferior' and not given the same opportunities as Sikh men.

I am a white educated female who has fallen for a Sikh man and thought our ideals were the same despite coming from different backgrounds. I still believe we are souldmates and would have a good future together. However I know our relationship faces more disapproval from his family than we get from mine. I qam sure Sikhs do respect other cultures but maybe only as long as it doesn't come too close to home. worying about what the community will think appears to be of more importance than a sons happiness.

I read the dily Hukamnama every day, Read all I can about Sikhism and have a very open mind. I respect our differences and am a non judgemental person who finds the best in all people.
I feel I do live up to the Sikhism 'ideals' but will this ever be enough to be accepted by a family holding on to old traditions. ( oh I am not cririsising but just stating the situation)

I am interested in your views.

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Reply
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Greetings to you in the Name of God the light of every soul and in the Name of Guru the life of every Sikh.

You have done some reading on Sikhism and the Siri Guru Granth Sahib. This is very admirable. Perhaps you should also dedicate some time into understanding and valuing the strong family ties of the Sikhs. Consider that a Sikh son's happiness is very much tied in with the the happiness of his parents and family. These families are closer than you can imagine. For example, many parents will choose a marriage partner for their children, and the children will accept the parents choice having both trust and confidence their parents wisdom. And these marriages work well. This is something that would be hard to find among Westerner's family relations.

Also, keep in mind that the strong morals and ethics of these families are the values that most Americans will break in their normal every day life.

Try to deeply understand from an unemotional place. Rather than ruling out this family as 'holding on to old traditions' perhaps you can see these ancient traditions as fundamentally graceful and sophisticated.

I would highly reccommend going to a Gurdwara and learning how to meet and greet people. Meet some families and experience the hospitality and graciousness that they embody. If this man really means something special to you, than really go out of your way to learn and live the life of a Sikh. This is what will impress his family. Your devotion and sincerity has to go to work for you.

Sikhism is more than a philosophy, it is a way of life. It is a living path of consciousness and truth. You can go and learn to read from the Guru, and learn to sing kirtan, and feel the effect of this powerful way.

How much are you willing to explore and practice for your own experience? Once the passion for this man wears off, what will you do?

This is a note of encouragement. God bless you.