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Summary of Question:	confused...
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Saturday, 8/19/2000 5:53 PM MDT

I'm a teenage girl who was born and raised in Canada. My parents have been in Canada for MANY years so they understand a lot of stuff that I might face in this western world I live in. I have met this guy and we are now together as a couple. I care about him deeply and he cares about me a lot too. I just like being with him and talking to him. Our relationship is not sexual and we don't do "stuff" such as kiss and hold hands. Well we haven't done anything like that as of yet. I have really strong feelings for this guy and I plan to be with him for the rest of my life. At times I feel VERY guilty because I feel as if I'm going against my religion by having a boyfriend. But then again I don't feel too bad about it because it's not like our relationship involves anything physical. Am i doing something wrong from a religious point of view? Will God punish me for this? It's not like I'm just fooling around with this guy. I'm very serious about being with him forever. I don't think I'm way over my hea

d about my boyfriend because I've fallen in love. Please help me. I'm very confused. I don't want to be doing something that the Sikh religion doesn't approve of and I certainly don't want to be punished for this. Thank You for taking time to review my problem. Please do answer.

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Response
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Dear One, you are very young and very impressionable. This means that you have a lot of emotions and feelings that you are just becoming aware of. To be successful in a relationship you need to know yorself. When you spend time learning about yourself, your faith, your world and your goals, then you can mature and "grow up".

In this society there is so much pressure for relationships and dating and sex. You do not need to hurry to have a relationship with a boy. Already you feel the pressure from the conflict that this relationship has brought into your life.

You are not ready for this. Caring for someone is not a sin it is a big distraction. Better to spend your time learning to have a relationship with yourslf, your soul. Find out about how special you are to yourself. Find the God in you so that you can see the God all around you. Live your life being true to the Creator that created you, rather than your emotions and you will find true happiness rather than conflict.

Having a relationship now is too soon. When you are young you are learning about yourself and your life. When you enter a relationship with another you are sharing your reality. What is your reality?