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Summary of Question:	School/Social Problems
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Friday, 8/18/2000 6:00 PM MDT

Sat Sri Akal.

I need help, and I don't know where or who else to go to besides this youth forum. I'm 15 years old, and have faced a lot of problems at school and just through out my life.. And I have also faced a lot of ignorant and overly self-concious people, overly self-centered. There's a lot of people who somehow find happiness and pleasure in putting other people down. And I can't handle being put down by other people, I'm weak inside and don't know what to do when someone tests my dignity or strength inside by gossiping about me, putting me down, or hating me for NO reason. Even if I don't do anything to these people, you'll always find SOMEONE there trying to bring you down, trying to make you weak. I don't appriciate being called a "slut" or "geek" or WHATEVER, and I don't want to stoop low enough to fight with these people.

Because what I realized is that I'm a brown girl, and a believer in the teachings of the Guru's. Doing paat always makes me feel good, it relaxes me, and I know that I want to be a Sikh, I'm proud to be a Sikh, and I want to live the Sikh way of life.

And I should be above all of that, I shouldn't even consider what other people think of me, as long as I know inside that I am a good person.
But for some reason, other people's opinion's always seem to get to my head and they always take me over, and make me more depressed.

I know these people will get what they deserve later on, and everything is in God's hands. But I need to know what to do to become stronger, and to be above all these superficial things. There's a lot of people who don't like me, even if I say nothing at all to them. I don't know if it's jealousy or what, but it's really agrivating me, and I don't know what to do...

Whenever someone puts me down, I start believing that all they are saying is TRUE. Even though it isn't. I need to become stronger, I'm so lost

Thank-you VERY VERY much for your time, this Forum is really great and helpful.

-God Bless

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Blessings and salutations. You are a great daughter of Guru Gobind Singh. I'm proud of you for standing up for your path and your soul.
You have written your own answers right beside your questions..."I shouldn't even consider what other people think of me", "everything is in God's hands", etc. The problem is you don't believe yourself and you don't trust the God in you.
Here is a line from the song "Heart of a Lion". It is about this very subject; "On every side the world will pull, they want you to join them in their fog. It took you millions of lives to arrive, what do you care for the barking of dogs".
You have prayed, served and sacrificed for millions of incarnations to come to the house of the Guru. When idiots slander you, just hear dogs barking, because they are not making any more sense than that. They want to pull you to be low like them. Don't fall for it.
You should also be grateful to them. The slanderer cleans your karma. Every time they say something bad to you because of your faith, you are getting lighter and lighter, the karmas are being burned away by them. They are actually doing a great service to you! Thank them and bless them! You will feel much better and they will understand they are not right.
For your own internal strength you might want to meditate in addition to reading your banis. Here is one simple meditation you can do using Wahe Guru mantra.
Sit on the floor with spine straight. Look at the tip of your nose. Your eyes might hurt for a moment, then that will pass. Inhale through the nose long, slow and deep breaths. As you inhale mentally hear Whaaaaa. As you exhale mentally hear Guruuuu. You will get very relaxed but try not to fall asleep. Do it for at least 11 minutes, up to 31 minutes. It will give you a lot of strength and understanding of yourself.
Don't live by others' opinion of you, they are not real. You are the daughter of a King. Feel that way and carry yourself that way. You will become that.
LSK