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Summary of Question:	I This Lust Or Just Love?
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 10/02/2002 5:59 AM MDT

Hi,

I just split up with the girl of my dreams. The problem was that her parents didnt agree for her to be married with me. My question to you guys is that im finding it difficult to cope with this because i cant see her with anyone else other than me. And it hurts to even imagine her doing things that we used to do with the person she eventually marries.. Now is this lust/just love or me hurting?

Im hurting a lot at the moment and i have turned to Gurbani to get me through this, but i just feel that i cant get this out of my head - what do you guys think?

(REPLY) Sat Nam. One of the best reasons for not getting intimate or having a close relationship before marriage is exactly to avoid the pain that you're feeling now. It is sad but true, that things don't always work out the way we wish -- and somehow, we have to get on with our lives, and have the faith that time will lessen the pain. --- and it will. Try to keep yourself occupied with things that are not "emotional" and when you find yourself thinking about what you have lost, try chanting a mantra, or reading Gurbani - so that , like changing from radio station to another, or one TV channel to another, you can change the frequency in your mind. Remember, your soul is not hurt, it is your emotions, and your mind that are sending you messages of pain and loss, so start taking control of them with your determination (will power, that comes from the soul) and accept the fact that what has happend is God's will. When we accept God's will, and are grateful for WHATEVER comes, the way becomes open for blessings. I wish you well. SP