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Summary of Question:	What Is Love
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 5/24/2004 8:27 AM MDT

sasrikal how are you? i hope all is well here in india i fin dthe prospect of love to be very difficult. It feels like we are prevented for falling in love but the thing is i have fallen in love with another women. As a women my self i feel that if i was to admit my love for her i would be disowned by my family. She to is in love with me but we do not know what to do living in india she has thought about the prospect of becoming a kusara which wil then mean that she is a he and i remain a girl. Would this be acceptable in comparison to us both being open about being female. i also wish to marry in the temple are such ceremonies acceptable? please help me we cannot bare to be apart.

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How old are you? Have you known you have feelings for women before? Have you ever had feelings for another woman before? I am not going to tell you not to love this person, but I am going to tell you the probably consequences. Whether with a man or woman, love always has consequences. If you are a lesbian, you will probably never be happy with a man. If you are bisexual, you might be able to be happy with a man...which is definitely the easier way to go in the Indian culture, especially if you want to remain in India and in the Sikh religion. Unfortunately the Sikh religion does not recognize gay marriages or gay relationships as being sacred. That's a fact.

Now, first off, I would not recommend that your friend have a sex change. It is extremely difficult on all levels of the being. As Sikhs, we embrace as God made us. How could your family accept her as a him? It seems it would be worse...and it is very hard on the person...having to change the harmones, lifestyle, identity, etc, etc.

If you thoroughly discuss how difficult life would be together on all levels and still agree that it is worth, losing your family, friends, your Sikh affiliation, then I would discuss options to having a moderately normal life.
Like, are there other countries that would be more accepting of lesbian couples? I think Canada is one, certain parts of the US, the UK, Australia? You would need to do some homework. It would mean that you would have to imigrate to another country. Is it worth it to you both? You will have to thoroughly investigate and think very carefully about the effects of your decisions. I'm not saying that it is impossible...but there will be serious consequences.

Whether with a man or woman, love is blind. Some times we don't think about the consequences until it is too late. Think carefully. Blessings. GTKK