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Summary of Question:	Very Opposite Feelings About My Fiance
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 7/06/2001 10:16 PM MDT

Hi!

Please help me I have been having alot of opposite feeling for my Fian'cee I love him alot and so do he but whenever i am too free I will think of something opposite he not that open minded still i will think bad about him. Recently I was think if he goes to India to attend his sister's wedding he will also get married with someone else. I know I am stupid he got engaged with me and still it is very stupid for me to think that bad things about him but I really could not help myself please help how could I over come. I always depend on the Guru for my relationship with him still I do not know why I have such kind of stupid feeling.

Reena

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REPLY
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Sat Siri Akaal.

Your feelings are not unusual. It seems you do not know your fiance very well and so you have not developed trust. This takes time to develop, and of course, cannot develop without interaction between the 2 of you; you have to get to know each others' hearts. Just because you are engaged doesn't mean that either of you is automatically trustworthy to the other. Women crave security in their lives and relationships, this is known. Man often give us LITTLE REASON to trust them, and we are more often regarded as their property rather than as a co-equal partner. In Sikhi, women are equal to men, period.

You do not feel secure at all in this relationship and it could be that your fears are well-founded, or they could be something you just have to go through to get to security. Meanwhile, the best thing for you to do is chant the Naam when you have these feelings that surface. To keep your inner stability, chant the Naam. When the fearful thoughts come up, chant waheguru over and over to neutralize the energy of your fear. Spend time every day in meditation, chanting the Naam, and this will help to ease your fears over this and anything else. Make it a daily practice to serve you throughout your life.

Guru ang sang,
DKK