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Summary of Question:	Muslim Guys
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Friday, 1/10/2003 6:38 AM MST

WJKK KJKF

Why is it so wrong to fall in love with a muslim guy? You can't help who you fall with, and Muslims are not so bad. It isnt a crime to love is it? I know that if i fall in love, that will be the guy i marry even if he is muslim. I cannot explain my situation but i know what it is like.
Why do u make it sound as if sikhs cannot love out of religion, and cant our parents accept it? dont they want us to be happy?

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Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh.

The problem, darling, is that "love" and "marriage" are not the same thing. Romantic love is a feeling you have towards someone - it is intense, passionate, attached, a longing to be with them all the time. And this feeling is ultimately temporary. The Guru talks about this as "worldy love." It is intense and sweet, and never lasts forever.

"Marriage" is an institution where two people come together to create a home that will go through the tests of time and space, and where they will create the next generation of society through the children that they raise together. Marriage requires respect, trust, an ability to communicate, a willingness to work out difficult problems together, patience, forgiveness and...ultimately...a sense of non-attachment as each partner will need to go through his or her karmas in life and the other partner will need to be a neutral and loving support along the way. This is also love - but it is a strong, steady and subtle form of love and it takes work to cultivate it.

"Do not call those married who sit together. Call them married who have one light in two bodies."

This is the ideal that our Gurus gave us as Sikhs. That our marriages are not about wordly love, but about spiritual union.

So - you may very well fall in love with a Muslim man. But whether or not you will be able to have a successful marriage with him is another question. The skills needed to fall in love are not the same skills needed to make a marriage work and, in order for that marriage to work, you have to take the purpose of marriage very seriously and put your heart and your hard work into it.

Your parents and the community are only saying - it is easier for two people with shared values to make a marriage work which is why it is best for Sikhs to marry Sikhs.

Hope this is helpful.

All love,

GPK