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Summary of Question:	Plz Help Me Out
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 7/09/2004 11:42 PM MDT

wjkk wjkf,

i m a sikh amritdhari 21. m in love wit a sikh girl. v had a gud relation frm last 7 months.my brother n bhabi knws abt ur relation n v were about 2 marry aftr degrees.
but last week, my girl friend told me she aready got engaged som 2 months bck wit som other guy. she has nt told me anyting frm 2 months as she used 2 call me daily n also speak 2 my bhabi n sis.
i gota exams aftr 2 dayz for wich i cnt concentrate in my studies.plz help me wat i il do.
she has nt told me abt her engagement frm last 2 monhts. it upset me a lot. also i cnt able 2 sleep well, cnt do path n study.wat il i do. i wana take revenge frm her. wat she did wit me is wrong. she shd hav 2 told me bf4 her engagement but now she told me bf4 2 dayz of my finals. i cnt able 2 study.plz help me. wat il i do?
weneva i go 2 baba jees room, cnt able 2 sit ther n concentrate on paath. plz advice. plz reply fast.

(REPLY Sat Nam. Of course you are upset. What a sad situation! And now, in spite of how you feel, you have to find a way to set aside your emotions and your pain and anger and hurt so that you can concentrate on your exams. i realize this is not an easy thing to do, but it can be done. You have to determine that you are not going to let this betrayal ruin your future by undermining your ability to do well in your exams. Therefore, I would suggest that you forget about revenge, that will accomplish nothing except more pain. Whatever this girl did to you is her karma, don't make bad karma for yourself by trying to get back at her. Everything happens for a reason. If she is the kind of person who would do this to you, then think what a terrible wife she would be! You are better off without her. Now, to "get over" your hurt and out of the emotional quicksand that you're in, you have to raise your consciousness and control your mind. Your mind and your thoughts and feelings are not YOU. I would suggest that you get up early in the morning, take a cold shower, and read Japji Sahib out loud, so that your mind cannot wander. This will start your day by connecting you with your soul, and give you a good start for the day. Then sit quietly with your eyes closed and be intensely aware of your breath flowing in and out of your nose. Each time you receive and inhalation think SAT and each time you exhale, think NAM. And Continue this for several minutes. If you can, chant/sing the shabd DHAN DHAN RAM DAS GUR -- this is the mantra when you need a miracle! During the day, when your mind starts to pull you toward the situation with this girl, YOU must take control of your mind by substituting a powerful thought, such as repeating "ANG SANG WAHE GURU' which affirms that God is with you, Guru is in every limb, every aspect of your total being. You can and you must rise above this situation. Do not let another person's cruelty rule you. When we react to another person's behavior, we show we are weaker than they are. Do you want her to have power over you? You can be strong and independent, by simply blessing her (yes! forgive your enemies -- but don't forget!) and don't harbor any negative feelings, because they hurt YOU! Offer your pain and suffering to the Guru when you bow to Guru Sahib. Let the Guru take over and arrange your life. I wish you well. May God bless you and Guru guide your way on. SP