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Summary of Question:	White Man To Marry Ms Kaur
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Thursday, 1/31/2002 11:09 AM MST

dear sir,

i am 30 years old and have been "dating" a sikh woman for almost three years. we have been patiently waiting for the right time to tell her parents as we would like to get married. i am writing to you to ask what effect you think there might be if i were to convert to sikhism. i was raised roman catholic. i would want our children to educated with both of our backrounds but personally would not mind practicing sikhism only.i believe it would be important for me to convert to sikhism for my future wife to connect with her community and our children to be properly educated of their culture. what steps would i take to do such a conversion? i would like to speak punjabi but that is a whole other issue. i have been to a guruwara on my own and with my girlfriend. any advice
will be gladly appreciated

(REPLY) If you want to become a Sikh "officially" just to marry, that's the wrong motivation. If you feel in your heart and soul and you ARE a Sikh, and want to follow the teachings of Guru Nanak through Guru Gobind Singh, as embodied in the Siri Guru Granth Sahib, then wonderful, do it. You can take Sikh Vows and further, you can take the baptism of Amrit. However, Sikhs only worship the One God, who created us all (not a personalized deity). Having been brought up as a Catholic, this may be difficult for you not to continue your worship of Christ. As for the children, either they are going to be raised as Sikhs or not. Letting children "choose" is confusing for them, and does not give them a firm foundation of faith, which is essential for happiness. Of course Sikhs respect all religions, and the right of people to worship as they wish, but that does not mean that we practice other religions. By the way, I do not believe in "converting" to Sikhism. That implies some outside force making you change your beliefs. If you live in the United States or Europe, we can suggest where you can go to take Sikh Vows. Learning Punjabi would be useful for the social aspect of your wife's family, but more important would be learning Gurumukhi, so that you can read from the Siri Guru Granth Sahib in the original language. (It's actually not difficult to learn how to read it, as it is a phonetic language.and even if you cannot understand the meanings, still reading the Guru as it was spoken by the Gurus is a marvelous, uplifting, elevating experience! ) Blessings, SP