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Summary of Question:	Is It A Crime?????
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Thursday, 9/26/2002 2:09 AM MDT

Sat sri Akal. i had a friend who was my cousins mate. we were really good friends for a very long time but recently my parents found out that i was texting him and he was phoneing me, they took the phone off me and wont give it back, was it a crime to stay friends with a sikh guy who was just a friend? he was also the same cast, (i am i Shimbi) Everything has been taken away from me and i dont think its fair. i know i did wrong but he helped me from every situation and helped me through my problems. now, my parents are talking about marrying me off at 19 and not sending me to university as they think i will go off with some guy! i know they are only doing it as they care but i have no freedom, and your probly going to say thats its for the best but it isnt. things are calming down and it will take time, but i just wanted some advice on what to do, i was on the verge of doing something bad but i know thats not the way as its just finding the easy way out.

please get back to me as soon as possible.
thank you

(sorry to bother you again, i have to many problems like many people)

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REPLY
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Sat Sri Akal,

If all you were doing was being a friend to a guy, then there is nothing at all wrong with that. But you have to make sure that that is all you were to him.

Indian parents tend to over-react when their children talk to people of the opposite sex. This is a cultural thing that I have noticed. Maybe you can calmly explain to them that you two were just friends, nothing more. You need to tell them that you are not the type of person who is going to go off with some guy!

Hopefully their comment about not sending you to University was just an overreaction and maybe in a few days when they cool off you can talk to them about it. All Sikhs need to go to school and become educated.

Please don't do anything bad. It is good that you understood to do the right thing. It is not a crime for a girl to talk to a guy as a friend. Let us know if you need more help.

Gur Fateh,
HSD