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Summary of Question:	Re:Confused About Marriage
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Thursday, 1/12/2006 3:55 PM MST

Dear Beti,

I want to add something more to the answer that respected moderator wrote to you. When your mom says "why do Sikhs do other things they're not supposed to?" I think I can relate to her emotions. Leave aside drink, smoke, cutting hair as we are talking marriage here; there are also sikhs who do not value marriage as they should & jump to 'divorce' the spouse on lame excuses. Are sikhs supposed to do that? NO, so by saying this your mom is just trying to protect you of people out there who meet through internet, matrimonial sites etc. with a hidden agenda. She seems to have more 'faith' in relations who are introduced by family and friends and that is to her is 'own caste'; her own 'braadary'. Please be open to meeting people that your parents scrutinise for you but make it clear to them that I would like to meet/talk to the perspective match and family for a while before I can say 'Yes'. In other words; don't make it an arranged marriage but let it be an 'assisted' marriage.

May Guru Himself guide you on this important decision of your life,
PK