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Summary of Question:	Sister's Wedding
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Thursday, 6/27/2002 12:39 PM MDT

hi, im a 16 year old girl, and having some family problems. My brother disappeared about 6 months ago, and it was gang related, and at the time he disappeared, he was trying to quit his drug addiction. Well, he came back a week ago, and has noticed how everything has changed. We bought a house, and my dad has come back to live with us, my mom is recovering from cancer. My older sister is going to get married now, and her future in-laws dont want any gang people there, cause they dont want a fight to break out. My brother is one of those gang related people, but i know he wont do anything to ruin my sister's big day. My sister and brother have always been so close, and he wouldnt wreck the wedding for anything in the world. Although there is a chance that he'll be able to go to the wedding, but not the reception, which is just as important. Does the guru say anything about drug related people being at the gurdwara, is it wrong to not allow a brother to his sister's wedding? Also, my other brother who never really grew up with us, he lived with our grandparents doesnt think of us as his siblings, and thinks he is being forced to go to our sister's wedding, and i want him to think of us as his siblings too, even though he didnt grow up with us, is he still our brother??? Even if he doesnt want to be..........?

(REPLY) Sat Nam. The best thing you can do in this whole situation is to pray to God and Guru for everyone and everything to be harmonious and peaceful! As for who can come to a Gurdwara -- whether there's a wedding happening or not-- the answer is that the House of the Guru is open to everyone, without discrimination. If your other brother (who lived with grandparents) doesn't want to come to the wedding, why should he be forced? But no matter where he grew up, if he was born to your parents, of course he is your brother! Some brothers and sisters are close and some have very little outward relationship. He can choose to feel apart - but you can still love him and accept him - and pray for him also! If the only people who could enter a Gurdwara were those with no problems (including drugs and alcohol) there might not be many people attending these days! We go to a Gurdwara to offer our heads -- and our problems at the feet of the Guru, and ask for blessings. That is a privilege and opportunity that cannot be denied anyone. Obviously, if anyone comes and causes a disturbance, then they can be asked to leave, but otherwise, we have not right to limit anyone from attending. God bless you for your caring and concern. Don't underestimate your power of prayer to help this situation! with love, SP