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Summary of Question:	Help Me Please!
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 10/16/2002 6:28 PM MDT

Vaaheguru ji ka Khalsa Vaaheguru ji ki Fateh

I am a 16 year old amritthari Singh living in California. I have been having a lot of problems with my family lately. I don't know whats wrong but my parents don't really seem like being happy because of the progresses I'm making with Sikhi. I never ask them to do anything special for me. I have never asked them to take me to the movies, parties, parks or anywhere else and nor do I have any special wants which I want fulfilled except for atteneding Kirtan programs. Anytime when I have to go listen to some special Kirtan program I have to beg them a hundred times before they let me go but most of the times I just have to hear them say no. There is a big kirtan smagam in LA on Thanks Giving and I asked my parents if I can attend it but my dad got so upset at no reason and he straight said no, once again. I don't know why all this is happening to me. It's not that I'm bad at studies, I'm only 16 and have already started going to college full time but yet my parents have problems with me. There are so many people who are close to me and are willing to take me along to these programs but yet my dad wouldn't let me go with anyone either. Please tell me what to do. I can't think of anything but to cry by myself. Is it really my fault that we don't share the same interests? My parents would force me to go to parties and other stuff which I completly hate but they would hardly ever take me to any Kirtan programs. Please help and guide me.

Vaaheguru ji ka Khalsa Vaaheguru ji ki Fateh

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Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa,
Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh.

You know- parents are really funny creatures. As a child you think they know everything. And then you grow up and realize - they don't know everything. And the saddest is when a child begins to come into his or her spiritual identity and rather than being able to support that, the parents want to repress it because they, themselves, have never come into their own spiritual identity and watching that soul blossom is difficult. It "pushes" their own buttons, so to speak. So understand that your parents are reacting to you because they are trying to suppress their own longing for Truth within themselves. It isn't about you. It's about the unfinished business they have with their own spirits, with God and Guru. You're just a mirror reflecting back to them the ways they've wasted their time and haven't meditated, haven't connected with the Divine.

So - what to do. First, don't take it personally. Don't get caught up in their emotional reaction. Keep moving forward in your own search for Truth and do what you can do. This year, they may not take you to a kirtan program. But find a friend who can take you, instead. Look for other ways of doing what you have to do without relying upon them. Second, develop compassion for them that whatever you're going through is challenging them to look at themselves. And they don't know how to face it. So - have compassion for them and pray that the Guru will help them, will give them whatever experience they need to be at peace with all of this. Third, keep up. No matter what happens, commit to your spiritual discipline and let it carry you through the play of time and space. In life, you will discover good times and bad times and as Sikhs we embrace both peace and challenge because our discipline gives us the strength to go through it. So - if you have a challenge - great. Lean on the Guru and watch how the Guru carries you through no matter what.

God bless you.

All love.

GPK

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa,
Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh.