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Summary of Question:	Relationship Breakup
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Friday, 2/16/2007 4:13 AM MST

WaheGuru Ji Ka Khalsa, WhaeGuru Ji Ki Fateh, wanted some help for my friend. Well to cut a long story short he was Relationship for about 3years. He really loved her now. Not long ago they split up. He has taken the breakup in a really bad way, he dont seem want 2 do anything, or get out of the house, his losing weight and also recently he has lost his job. Because of the breakup. I think his also taking antidepressant which dont seem to be working, I have done everything I can think of. If he keeps this up his going to be really ill and its going to ruin his life.

(REPLY Sat Nam. You are obviously a good friend to want to help your friend. The problem is he is stuck in his emotions and does not have any perspective on who he really is, and what is the purpose of his life! Relationships can do this to people, and that is a tragedy. Men are especially vulnerable to being ruined by their infatuation ( refuse to call it love) with women. So, what to do? Get your friend to a Gurdwara and get him to read from the Siri Guru Granth Sahib. If that's not possible, get him to read the English translation of Japji Sahib. This is where Guru Nanak really laid out all we really need to know about the purpose and meaning of life, and points out how all relationships are temporary, etc, etc. Your friend is feeling sorry for himself, and in this world where there is so much poverty, illness, war, and horrible crime, he needs to do something to get some perspective on his situation. Of course everyone wants to be happy, and there's nothing wrong with that -- the thing is that happiness comes from serving others, instead of focusing on one's own self. Get him some CD's of the banis, or shabds and make him listen to them! There's also a great CD in English called "Train to Amritsar" by Guru Dass Singh where he sings about never giving up, never surrendering to your tears! (You can get it from www.spiritvoyage.com or www.a-healing.com) Depression is a dangerous state of mind, as you've noticed. Life is a precious gift, and he can be reminded that God is breathing in him every time he inhales. Maybe he needs to hear you say, "ANG SANG WAHE GURU" frequently -- and he needs to say it himself. You might also pray for him and chant to Guru Ram Das, the Lord of Miracles to heal him. (DHAN DHAN RAM DAS GUR is the shabd.) God bless you, SP