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Summary of Question:	Despair Of Life
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 5/06/2003 11:36 AM MDT

Where to start would be the difficult thing- I know that this is to answer questions but if I gave you a break down of my life I think you woould undersatnd why I am simply at such a weird point of my life:

Childhodd- pretty ok - young parents, brought up in English city- suffered some abuse sexual froma family frind (never really got over it, also some abuse from a cousin (but seem to have got over that0

Father - an alchoholic- perhasp so because of his father's alcohol problem - my grnadmother was beaten etc in front of them all dad's bros ran away married out of faith and are noew happy he stuck to the rules supported his family no he himslef continues to drink

Mother - from strci family in a Punjabi way but not religoius - very strong woman who now seems to have turned into a robot to support my father's habit.

Brother - well he studie at Uni but he messes with girls etc- but what can I say to him that my own father won't when my father gets drunk and my bro is home my bro has to beat him to control him.

Me well- too much going on in my life- i feel I have lost all my values & morals that I had initially I was so religoious even contemplating becoming Gursikh at one pount in my life gave up on meat - stil don't eat meat but drink smoke etc at univerisyt just finishing law school- I don't cry anymore no nothing seems to hurt me anymore - people will treat me like crap and i let them

I pray and I just end up shaking and in tears I can't face teh Gurudwara - i walk out in tears to the outside world I am the epitomy of success a soon to be lawyer with an ideal family - inside I am a broken soul that now lacks emotion all I can say is where do I get my help?

Thank u

(REPLY)

Sat Nam. You've had a terrible life, and it has definitely left emotional scars on you. "Where do you get your help"? You get it from the Guru. I know that sounds like an over simplification, but basically, what you are lacking in self esteem and joy can be restored when you read and understand what the Guru has taught about the purpose of life, and so I urge you to read your Banis every day, and if possible, read in an Akhand Path as often as possible. All events, circumstances, people and places in this world are temporary. We get tested by them, and by time itself, but when we turn to the Guru with faith, then we get a truthful perspective with which to view everything. If you don't have a Gurdwara where there are English translations, then go to that link on Sikhnet. You are a soul, who came into this life to pay off karma, and it seems it was a miserable and painful amount -- well, now it's time to realize that God really does live and breathe in you, and that the Guru is always with you -- you just need to open up your heart and soul to discover that reality. In spite of all your suffering, you do have a choice now, and I hope and pray that you will make a choice to give up your suffering, stop allowing anyone exploit you or hurt you, and embrace your life as a Gursikh. It is possible that you might get some help in dealing with the memory of the sexual abuse by going to a professional counselor, but remember, the best counsel is from the Guru. You are a precious soul, do not let anyone put you down!

My sincerest best wishes to you. SP