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Summary of Question:	Need Advice
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Thursday, 7/24/2003 10:33 PM MDT

Hi i really need advice as to what i should regarding this situation. I am very much in love with a catholic guy. i know we were made for each other and we both want to get married. Also he is very much willing to accept my faith and attend the gurudwara with me. Now the problem is my dad is against this whole thing regardless of how happy i am with him. It hurts to know that he cares more for how society views him than my happiness. Although sikhism does not say a sikh cannot get married to one fron another faith. What should i do?........i know he loves me with everything he has and i love him too....plz help me.

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This is a very complicated question. Here on Sikhnet, we are developing a whole Matrimonial section, including all the things you need to consider in a love/marriage relationship. In order to properly answer your question, I would need to know the age of you and your boyfriend. Are you both financially self sufficient? How long have you known this person? Are you compatible in other ways? Why not have him try out Sikhism now; why wait until you get married. It can be very tricky to marry someone who is converting to your religion purely to please you and get married. It is much preferred that that person truly wants to become a Sikh anyway. If he is only becoming a Sikh for you, there can be many problems later...resentment...anger...pulling away, etc. Try to take a much deeper look at the situation. Don't just see it as your father being selfish. Perhaps he has some wisdom mixed with his concern. Ask your self other questions, like what is going to happen with your children, etc. etc. I think the best advise I can give you is to have your boyfriend try on Sikhism. He needs to see for himself if he is seriouis about this or not. If he is not, then look at your relationship. How important is it to both of you to embrace the same religion. It is not a simple thing. Really examine things clearly and thoroughly. Don't be neive about marriage. It is for life, it can hurt many people, it can be wonderful, it is always hard work, it will challenge you like nothing else. Don't rush and talk about everything. This is not the time to be shy or timid about asking questions. There is no such thing as a stupid question, when it comes to choosing a life mate for you and a father for your children. May Guru guide you. GTKK