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Summary of Question:	Confusion??
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 1/24/2003 5:25 PM MST

WAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA WAHEGURU JI KI FATEH. I THINK IM IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE I NOW VERY WELL..I THINK ABOUT HIM ALL THE TIME AND HES A VERY DECENT GUY. HE ALWAYS MAKES ME LAUGH AND FEEL IMPORTANT...SOMETHING THAT RARELY HAPPENS...HE IS MIXED RACE..HIS FATHER IS SIKH AND HIS MOTHER IS CHRISTIAN...HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT RELIGION HE IS, HE SAYS HE IS SIKH BUT HE IS NOT SURE...I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, IS IT WRONG TO LOVE SOMEONE OF DIFFERENT FAITH?..HE LOOKS LIKE A PROPER ASIAN LAD, BROWN SKIN ,THE MOST GORGEOUS EYES, BLACK HAIR...I CONSIDER SIKHI A BIG PART OF MY LIFE, I DO NOT DO MOST THINGS WITHOUT QUESTIONING TO MYSELF WHETHER IT IS WRONG TO DO ACCORDNG TO THE RULES OF SIKHI...IF IT IS WRONG, I DONT THINK I COULD STOP LOVING HIM

(REPLY) Sat Nam. So, your question has to do with "right and wrong" of being in love? Being in love, as you have described is a delicious feeling, right? But do you really believe it is the basis for marriage? Possibly this young man will turn out to be a wonderful life partner, but you need to mature a lot before you can really understand and evaluate what choices to make for your future. Possibly if he were to find out more about the Sikh religion (and I think perhaps you do too!) he might find that it is the right path for him. That would be a plus. You are really infatuated right now with his charm, his looks -- and they sound great, but what about his character? What about his life style? What career will he follow? Do you both have the same aims and goals in life? Life isn't a movie script where you "fall in love, get married and live happily ever after." There is family to consider, unless you think you two are going to live alone on a desert island? Have you met his parents? Has he met yours? Do you spend any time every day meditating and chanting God's Name? That's what our Guru tells us to do, over and over. Our Guru tells us that husbands and wives, children, brothers and sisters are just temporary relationships, whereas our relationshp with God and Guru is forever. Are you doing anything to experience that permanent relationship? That's the difference between emotion and devotion! I hope someday you will marry someone who can share your devotion, as well as share your emotions. By the way, LOVE is when you totally care about the other person, no matter when you get in return. It's not a romantic fantasy. It's like the sun shining on everyone. That's how God and Guru love us. Only we often turn our backs on that Divine Light, and spend our time fascinated by candle light. SP