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Summary of Question:	Kaam
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Thursday, 11/21/2002 10:51 AM MST

waheguru ji

i have question regarding KAAM....how one can control his/her mind full of KAAM..let say me..my mind always think of kaam all the time..how can i control that..i do my daily prayers..but i m tired of my mind full of kaam...and plz can you explain me briefly..why we get dream in early morning..i do my paat at 6 am..then i go to sleep...then i get bad dreams of sexually involved..why is that..m i not loving my guru ..and waheguru...or i m concentrating enough..
thankyou

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Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa,
Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh.

So - let's talk about lust. You have sexual desires. Those desires are not bad. In fact, without the sexual energy, no person would ever be born. So understand that sexual energy, in and of itself, is a very sacred thing. It is the force that brings the Divine into human form.

Thinking about sex or having dreams about sex is not really Kaam. Those are just natural things that happen to everybody - especially for boys in their teenage years and for women in their 30s. Certain biochemical and psychological pressures converge and the body just wants to procreate - so sex becomes something forefront in the mind.

Lust is when you can't control your actions in relation to sexual desire. Lust is when you act in ways that hurt yourself and hurt other people in the name of satisfying those desies. If you lie to someone to get them into bed, for instance, that's Kaam. We have seuxal energy - so have it. Just behave properly. Respect yourself and another person enough to not engage in sex until you're married. And once married, respect yourself and the other person enough to stay faithful and never have sex outside of the marriage.

Let me very honest here. It is a rare person who can contain their sexual desire enough to do those two simple things: wait until marriage and stay faithful within the marriage. If you can achieve this in your life - then you have acheived something truly tremendous. So - don't try to keep yourself from feeling sexual or thinking sexually because that's asking you to deny being human. Just have the discipline to behave well.

And when the thoughts come up - don't worry about them. Thoughts never last forever. The thought will come, let it. The thought will go, let it. It's not a big deal.

You love Waheguru just fine.


All love,

GPK