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Summary of Question:	Fixed-Time Marriage
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 7/02/2004 12:33 PM MDT

Sat Sri Akal,

I have a Shite Muslim friend, who practices something called a fixed-time marriage. It is temporary marriage that lasts for say about three months, during that period they would be like a regular married couple. When the time is up they then decide weather if they want to make the marriage a permanent thing. It is basically like dating, except it is done in the name of God. According to Sikhi would this practice be acceptable?

Also, I know that there is nothing really mentioned in the Guru Granth Sahib about pre-marital relations between men and women, most likely because it was never really a issue back then since people were married when they were teenagers, but is it really wrong? Most people get married now between the ages 27 and 30, after they are done school and have got a job. Is it really practical to stay away from the opposite sex for that long? Is it even healthy?
And it doesn't help when you live in a society which is obsessed with sex. I mean if your a 27 year old and your still a virgin, your considered a weirdo or a loser, especially if your a guy. Pre-marital sex is the norm with today's youth, even for the sikh youth. The only way I see around this is for people to start getting married at a younger age.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. The "fixed-time" marriage is definitely not acceptable to a Sikh. Sorry, but whether the current society - (and I agree, it's obsessed with sex!)encourages and condones premarital sex, that doesn't make it "right." There are so many broken hearts, divorces, children living without both parents all because people don't understand that sexual union is a sacred act -- and truly needs to be reserved for marriage. Yes, I know that "everyone" is doing it, but honestly, it is unfortunate, because promiscuity is undermining the fabric of a stable society, not to mention the dangers of contracting HIV etc. I have to tell you that celibacy is easier to maintain if one practices Kundalini Yoga, because that takes the energy from the lower chakras and raises it to the higher ones. The sex drive is a normal, healthy phenomenon, but it is an energy to be controlled, not for a person to be controlled BY it, nor to take it casually. If you don't understand about "chakras" etc, I would suggest that you read "Kundalini Yoga: The Flow of Eternal Power." There's a difference between lust and love, and when sex is experienced within a committed love relationship -- it's ideal! Otherwise, well, it's not. I hope that helps somewhat. Blessings, SP