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Summary of Question:	Acceptance Into Sikh Family
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 8/30/2004 5:06 PM MDT

I apologise if I have missed the answer to my question, but need to understand.

I have dated a Sikh man for 11 years and it has been difficult as I am a non- practising Christian.
I have grown up around all kinds of religions and accept everyone to have their beliefs.
Recently we fell out, because he says he can't upset his family, so no matter how sad he is and how right I am for him( I am prepared to learn language, religion and am fully aware of how difficult the path would be), and even from his Mother that it could be overcome, How and what am i supposed to do?
I have asked about his religion, although he claims he doesn't know much about it, so why does he use it as an excuse? Why is he worried that people will call me "the white one".I never followed my religion because I found it full of mis-leading information. But without appearing disrespectful as all Sikh families that I know are likeable, respectful, good honest people, Why do they give the message that all people are equal, when clearly I'm not?

(REPLY) Sat Nam. Eleven years?? You are a very patient person! I wish I could answer your question, but I can't. Unfortunately there is a generation of people who are caught in their cultural traditions, and are ignoring the spiritual teachings of our Gurus. Obviously your boyfriend is not strong enough to confront his family on their hypocrisy -- especially since you are willing to practice the Sikh faith! Is he really worth wasting the rest of your life waiting for him? Meanwhile, you might find it useful and educational to explore the various links on the SikhNet website, and maybe print out some of the material for your boyfriend! Guru Nanak taught universal truth, but even he said, "great is Truth, but even greater is living the Truth." and it's the "living" and practicing part of it that doesn't seem to be happening here. I'm so sorry, I do believe that things are changing, but very slowly, and it will still take a while to break down these barriers. I wish you the best -- may you fulfill YOUR highest destiny. God bless you and Guru guide you. (Read Japji Sahib -- you can find it on SikhNet in English to understand what Guru Nanak explained about the meaning and purpose of life.) SP