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Summary of Question:	Obsession
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Wednesday, 3/03/2004 3:39 PM MST

Hello, I have a tough question and hope you can help. I am an undergrad(senior) and a female and my problem is that I feel I'm obsessed with guys. I don't do anything "bad", actually have never had a bf as my family is conservative but still I always find someone around me and start to like him a lot to an extent that it keeps me from focussing on more imp things esp. studying.I don't know what to do. I always try and get over one person only to move on to another one. I don't know if anyone feels this way or if this is normal but I could definitely live a more fulfilling life if I could change this. Is there a way I can stop it and just wait for the one when that happens and focus on just being a good person and making a life for myself at this moment. Please help.Is it my karma to ruin my life like this? Can I stop this?

(REPLY) Sat Nam. At your age it is normal to feel attracted to the opposite sex. However, you need to be able to control your feelings and there are things you can do to help you do that. To conquer your mind and hence your feelings, you need to start each and every day by reciting the Guru's banis. Read Japji Sahib before you go to school, and also take a few minutes to sit quietly and close your eyes and be aware of the fact that you're breathing. Then think SAT as you inhale, NAM as you exhale, and breathe as slowly and deeply as you can (through the nose only) That breath in you is a Divine gift of Life, it is God giving you another opportunity to pay off your karma, and discover who you really are. You are NOT your body, you are NOT your mind, and you are NOT your emotions. You are actually a divine being, living in this form. So, how to make your life worthwhile and meaningful and not waste it in emotional obsession? Fill your mind with Guru's words, and keep remembering them during the day. Chant some shabds. There are CD's that you can get to chant along with. I always turn to Guru Ram Das for help and pray for help with problems that way. DHAN DHAN RAM DAS GURU is the mantra when you need a miracle! Then if you can keep Gurbani Kirtan playing all night while you sleep (it can be very, very soft) that will help a lot, and of course, recite Kirtan Sohila before you go to bed every night. In other words, instead of relating to your emotions, you need to relate to your soul. May God bless you and Guru guide you. SP