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Summary of Question:	Sexuality
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 6/11/2001 11:21 AM MDT

VAAHEGUROO JI KA KHALSA, VAAHEGUROO JI KI FATEH

i have a simple, yet complex question to ask of you. my question is about homosexuality, or feelings of attraction and affection for people of the same sex as yourself. i wanted to know your opinion on the right/wrong of this, if that is how to put it in simple terms. if 2 people are having "sexual relations" with each other (of the same sex), and both are Sikhs of the Guru (Amritdhari or not), what does that mean? what can it mean? why does it happen? how do they stop it from happening? if it feels right and it feels "natural" is it wrong? should it be condemned? both parties want to marry of the opposite sex and have a family to raise. could this be a phase or a revelation about one's sexuality. is it considered harmless if the people involved are in balance with their lives? it may be that "females" are better bonded than male-female relationships, so i am thinking that could be the root cause of this attraction. if you are best friends with this person what do you do? do you break up the relationship

or seek help? how do they resolve the deep feelings they have for each other?
thank you


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REPLY
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Sat Sri Akal,

In Sikhism, we don't cut our hair because we keep what is natural to us. Hair is natural. Sikhism advocates being natural and keeping oneself the way the Guru intended you to be. From this it can be inferred that men and women should be married together because that is indeed the only natural thing. However, advocating natural does not necessarily mean condemning the unnatural. One should only have sexual relations when he or she is married. A lot of times when someone is young or inexperienced, the feelings of "like" and "love" can be mixed up with just feelings of fondness, and (since you didn't specify your age) teenagers tend to be more emotional and act upon those emotions prematurely. Take it slowly and really think about what's going on. It's not necessarily true that females are better bonded than male-female relationships. Indian culture is very sexist (which the Gurus tried to eradicate) and there is this scare among Western raised females that once married, an Indian male is going to rule t
he marriage. This kind of thing is exactly what the Gurus did NOT want. Females are equal to males in Sikhism, because that is the ultimate truth. A true Sikh male will understand this and treat his wife like a queen. It is the misconception that males are always dominant (due to Indian culture) that makes female bonds more desirable at first glance. However, a male-female bond is more balanced. Think of it like this, a magnet will only attract if it is lined up + to - and thus will be balanced; if it is lined up as + to + or - to - , then it does not attract and is unbalanced.

Gur Fateh,
HSD