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Summary of Question:	Marrying A Christian
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 9/10/2002 12:22 PM MDT

Sat SRi Akal

I am a Sikh girl studying abroad in University. I am with a Christian Malayali, whom I love very much. My dilemma does not need to be stated obviously. However, what I am interested in asking is that, as Sikhi teaches us to be tolerant and accpeting of all other people as we are all the same jyot, regardless of their gender, religion, class,... However, I understand that it is forbidden for Sikhs to marry out of their religion. Isn't this a discrepancy? When we believe that it doesn't matter what or whom we call the Supreme Consciousness to whom we are praying, as long as we are praying, and that there IS only ONE....then why does it matter if I were to marry out of my religion, as long as my husband is a good man, who loves me, who has no vices, and is very strong in his own religion, and thus prays regularly...just because he doesn't pray the way I do, or calling GOd Waheguru the way I do, or anything else....does that mean I should not be with him? Faith is an individual phenomenon. Each to her own. If I am happy with that, why can't everyone be happy for me. Please explain.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. YOur question has been asked so many times, and answered so many times, yet I want to respond to you because I believe you actually do not understand several facts. First of all, when you say "forbidden" to marry non-Sikh. What do you mean? Forbidden by your parents, I can understand why, but as far as our religion teaches, I've never seen anything stated that says you CAN'T marry a non-Sikh. The reason parents are most likely to object to an inter-faith marriage is that despite the universal respect and acceptance of others having the right to worship as they choose, when you are married, you become two bodies with one soul, and you will most likely have children. How will they worship? How secure will they be when they learn that as Sikhs we never worship any person, and yet your husband, as a Christian worships Jesus, the Christ? For him, that is fine, but what about your children? They need a solid, united set of values to grow up secure and strong in their faith. So, that's the problem. As Sikhs we have a privilege and a responsibility to EXPERIENCE our Shabd Guru, the Siri Guru Granth Sahib, and we are happy to share our Guru with everyone, we never try to convert anyone to become Sikh, either. But you are not looking ahead a few years. and you are not considering the feelings and attitude of your families. I hope that you will understand and try to see the problems that lie ahead if you marry a Christian -- even though he may be - and probably is a wonderful man. Husband and wife do not live in a vaccuum! Others lives are affected by you. Blessings, SP