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Summary of Question:	Depression
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Thursday, 5/22/2003 6:40 AM MDT

WJKK WJKF

About 6 years ago,i was suffering from servere depression.(This was due to problems wiv my childhood,my mother abandoned me as a child.) It took me a good few years to get over it.Now i've got my life back on track but recently i've been feeling a loss of control over my life. i know what and where the problems are coming from.(at home- domestic in a joint family. i'm in the middle of it) but i can't help the way i feel. i'm constantly snapping at people around me. i feel as though i've no energy, sleeping all the time. i can't laugh at any thing. i'm bitchy. Any body who knows me, knows that this is not me at all. my doctors say i'm taking on too much on, my problems at uni wiv exam stress and financaial worries aswell as everyone elses problems. I've been having so many panic attacks.
i need help but i don't want any medication. what i want is too get better wiv guru grace. i've started to do rehras and kirtan sohila every e vening but can't bring myself to do jap ji sahib as i sleep too much in mornning and don't feel worthy of doing it.
don't even know if this e-mail is making any sense.
Also when i got deprtessed during my teenage years it was due to unresolved stuff wiv my mother for the way she treated me. i was told the way forward was to forgive her, which i did. i got back in touch wiv her and her family about two years ago. all was going well untill my nani turned round and said that my gran (i live with my dad and family)had done black magic on my mum all those years ago and would use me too get back at them again. which is very hard too believe as my gran is a prpoper gursikh. where as nani is radha swami and mum is turned christian. how messed up is that.
i didn't believe my nani at first but ended up questioning my gran. too which response was that it was infact my nani who had done all those years ago, but my gran also said there is no evil force b4 guru's bani.
Is there any thing that i can recite that can calm me down and make me better. i know i've said alot and i'm sorry if i'm asking for alot but i really need some sort of guidance. A quick response would be really helpful.
thank you so much
MK
(REPLY) Sat Nam. What a hard life you have had, and how wonderful that you want to lift yourself out of your depression. It will not be easy, but with Guru's grace, you can do it! Pleae, please, please read Japji Sahib every day! The wisdom in Guru's words will remind you to keep all the events and relationships in yourlife in proper perspective: i.e. they are all TEMPORARY! Whatever karma is going on between your nani and your gran, just let it go, and stay out of it. Guru's power can overcome any evil, you just need to have faith, and to keep reminding yourself that God and Guru are with you with every breath. ANG SANG WAHE GURU. There are shabds of protection if you will like to chant them whenever you feel the need, such as AAD GURAY NAMEH, GUGAAD GURAY NAMEH, SAT GURAY NAMH, SIRI GURU DAYVAY NAMEH -- and surround yourself with the Guru's blessings and protection. GURU GURU WAHE GURU, GURU RAM DAS is another. You should be concentrating on your school, and avoid all these family neurotic squabbles. You have taken a most mature step by forgiving your mother, not I hope you will take another giant step toward your freedom from suffering by making yourself responsible ONLY to the Guru, and not allowing yourself to be emotionally involved in family situation. Try to love everyone, be kind and polite to everyone, but do not "take sides" -- and remember, God is the Doer. Faith moves mountains, otherwise, even stones are heavy! So, again, PLEASE read and understand Japji Sahib before you start your day. And you can get great support and self-confidence and courage from reading Jaap Sahib. We cannot change other people, all we can control is the way we respond to them and to the events in our lives. You are definitely a worthwhile human being, and you DESERVE to be happy! We all make mistakes in our lives, but the important thing is to make every effort to live according to the best and highest virtues our Guru has taught us. May God and Guru bless you and protect you and inspire you. Sometimes "It's always darkest before the dawn." Let there be the Light of God in your heart to guide you on. SP